Heidi Montag's Giant Boobs Will Make Her Famous

Self-obsessed starlet thing, Heidi Montag recently underwent multiple cosmetic surgical procedures and debuted her new look on the cover of People magazine. Before, she at least had a little character, but now she's a dead-eyed, frozen-faced blurry vanilla beige amalgamation of every other bouncy blonde in Hollywood.  I had a tough time drawing her because quite simply, I can't see her. Despite the fact she's had so much botox and restylane pumped into her 23 year-old face, the art directors at People decided they still needed to photoshop her to oblivion. What does Heidi look like now?  I don't know, but one thing we ALL know is that she has massively gigantic boobs.  And those boobs are what's going to make her interesting to us.  She claims she did it because it will help her career as a pop star, but since her "music" sounds like a bunch of chipmunks with jackhammers, I'm not too sure it will pay off.  I could be wrong though - maybe that's what the kids are listening to these days. Regardless, Heidi says her triple D boobs aren't large enough and she's going to pump those things up to an H.  Poor Heidi will continue striving to be "the prettiest girl" and we all get to watch the disaster unfold as she continues her public quest for fame and perfection. Jocelyn Wildenstien is going to have some stiff competition soon! Medium: Heidi and Tiger are graphite and digital paint, Obamas and Tila are photoshop hack jobs.

 

Comments

[Leo the Yardie Chick]

She is going to look like a mangled car wreck by the time she's 30. Have you ever seen those actresses from the 40s and 50s who spent a life time nipping, tucking, sculpting and lifting - and that's just in the face? Yes. Just like that.

[Bionic Squirrel]

Heidi obviously hasn't spent much time looking at elderly ladies who had lots of plastic surgery in their younger years... they look horrible! Plastic surgery, especially on the face, never ages well.

[Bucket Trucks for Sale]

lol...that pic of Michelle Obama with Bush...too funny!

[Sprmcandy]

Dum stupid bitch.

[SeaStar]

She is so stupid.
Heidi needs to realize that fake tits will never look as good as real natural breasts.
A silicone breast is grotesque, unreal, sticks out.
But a genuine real pair that are all natural.........those are real and that's what guys like........not implants.

A girl with natural, silicone-free DD's will always be far more beautiful than the botoxed bitch with fake, silicone filled DD's.
That's the truth and it always will be.
The Mayans had a statue of a Goddess that had realistic large breasts. None of that silicone crap. Real big breasts will always be superior to the fake ones.

Botox? That shit is a neurotoxin. No girl should inject that into her face.

Wrinkles and fine lines? Just use a good cream with peptides and that will be a lot less expensive than fat injections into the face.

[Becca]

Now I am starting to feel sorry for the poor girl. She's going down the same path as Britney Spears, no thanks to America's fantasy of a "perfect" woman.:P

[The Mave]

,... By the way 14,.... "Great Work & Dead-On Wit as ALWAYS!"

[stacy]

I think that she is so stupid! She was such a beautiful girl before her first surgery, and then even still after, but now she looks like shit!

[The Mave]

,.... and she can take that Tila Tiquila alien munchkin with her, too!

[The Mave]

Maybe she'll do everyone a really BIG favor by surgically making those fake titties big enough to totally absorb her & her lame husband completely into oblivion forever.

One can only hope,.....

[Erik]

It is actually pretty sad the message this idiot chick is sending to girls all across the nation. She was good looking before (until she opened her mouth) but it wasn't enough. And no amount of plastic surgery is going to "fix" what's wrong with her. Maybe a lobotomy but no superficial work.

[Vern]

Oh! And did I metntion how loverly your title: "Sheeple" is? Pardon Moi. In Floridian sun with some powerful mojo working against me, makes me forgetful. Overcoming, though. YOu can't keep a Jersey girl down. (typo but, they come in handy)
I still can't go there with your O'Georgia pic, yet.
Maybe the truth hurts, but, I love him, I love him, I love him (picture 50's girl group)
love you tooooooo! Beautiful 14!!!!!

[Kat]

That "song" isn't helping her any. Nor is the plastic surgery. She wasn't bad looking before. L.A. needs to be bombed off the face of the earth. It's doing almost as much damage to America as the war. They're so pathetic.

[Shannon]

Awesome "People" cover!!!!!! Sad because she was so much prettier before! I agree with one of the posters that her next step is definitely a porn career. SAD!

[Saffy]

she's 23 and feels the need for a full body overhaul? God only knows what happens when she really starts to age.

[burninghouse]

Spencer her "husband" is the one that needs plastic surgery.

[Lord Spencer Churchill]

It is hardly surprising that women concentrate on the way they look instead of what is in their minds since not much has been put in their minds to begin with.
- Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

[Vern]

Heidi is attempting to replace Pa-mellon Anderson, since she's too old. The catch is that, unlike Heidi, Pam started out cute and made herself ugly. I'll wait to check back on H's H-Bombs til she's living in a trailer and doing 'fashion' shows.

[Jason Atherton]

Just accidently discovered this site, and it is fantastic! Love it.

[MJed Lance Von T.]

"Chipmunks with jackhammers"! THAT'S FUNNY! Big laffs on that one, 14. Not much for me to say about another celeb of the moment smeared across the pages of the media like a bad shade of lipstick, other than how much I wish it would come to a halt. I still don't understand why people who get a little dose of fame continue to fall for the same formula, one right after another. Its like a bunch of lemmings lining up next to the Hollywood sign waiting for their chance at the big plunge. Love the style on this new piece, however. You rock way harder than Montag could any day, 14!

[John Smith (my real name, I promise!!)]

Totally sad, but true, about Heidi. The Tiger insert is compelling enough. But, the star of this posting is the insert about the Obamas. I think that the public is slowly coming to the same conclusion. Didn't the tabloids stay on the story of George's & Condi's background romance? Which president loves Wall Street, bankers, special interests, military contractors, and themselves more? The cold-truth answers should give us all grief for the past and the future.

[Red]

OOO! You brought Joyce into this. Dadgum! I guess the next move for Heidi will be porn. What else do you do with size 'H' boobs? Ron Jeremy would be bored but not bored stiff.

[jerms]

And her message is still "true beauty comes from within."

Prove it, bimbo!

You're working hard, 14! Look at all these posts!