Heidi Montag adores her mega-boobs so much that she commissioned a commemorative "Bust of a Bust" musical monument for her new line of Heidi Montag Collectibles. Factory-crafted in China using only the finest genuine simulated marble, the Bust of a Bust monument is sure to be an attention grabbing addition to your home decor. You'll marvel over the lifelife hardened lumps glowing wantonly under the built-in spotlight, and if that's not enough to grab your attention, a buzzing glow of pink neon will constantly remind you of one of Heidi's most memorable recent quotes. It only gets better because the Bust of a Bust is not only pleasant to look at, it also plays music. Yes, now you can listen to a selection of hits from Heidi's new album Superficial, which she claims is going to be a bigger success than Michael Jackson's Thriller!
Listen to a sample of Heidi's remarkable music here:
Medium: Graphite on paper, digital color, photoshop. Heidi Song composed and sung by 14.
Was it Anderson Cooper who can be quoted as saying that "Heidi and Spencer represent everything that is wrong with America"? She is one messed up girl. She wears her unhappiness like a big pink plastic badge.
Posted by: Bionic Squirrel | March 21, 2010 at 02:10 PM
Wow! That music was right on the money! How did you get inside Heidi's head?
Wonderfully interpreted sili-marblees too!
Posted by: midi | February 14, 2010 at 04:37 PM
Oh Dear Bod! 14, you are FANTASTIC (as always)and "Hide Ye (Sili)Con"tag is just Plas-spastic".
Posted by: Pun_inpendid | February 07, 2010 at 09:11 PM
Ha Viper!
I knew you had a pair! *growl*
Posted by: Vern | February 02, 2010 at 06:10 AM
Vern, my cherry-licorace assless chaps salute you!
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | February 01, 2010 at 09:37 PM
Hey 14! I didn't think you were still doing this!!!
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I played "Eat the Panties off Me" - your sample and my cat, Racootsie got really, really upset. I am too tipsy to write and write this properly. Long day ...
Posted by: sweet subversion | January 31, 2010 at 07:08 PM
Viper! Hooray for the successful brainstorming!
"dear Christ in cherry-licorace assless chaps" is the best synonym for 'comic-genius' that I've ever heard.
My pontoons salute you!
Posted by: Vern | January 31, 2010 at 01:04 PM
The...um...points, pointing so firmly and resolutely outward yet so fucking asymmetrically crooked, represent the most rapier-sharp symbolism for what this deluded young woman's doing to herself. Currently brainstorming an as-of-yet-unused synonym for 'comic genius'.
Am I a traitor to my sex for not finding her lacquered synthetic pontoons the least bit appealing? Dear Christ in cherry-licorace assless chaps, I hope not.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | January 31, 2010 at 03:18 AM
I am deeply freaked out by those pencil-eraser nipples. It's just one of my private squicks...ew ew ew.
Posted by: K | January 30, 2010 at 10:56 AM
whOOa!!!... lOOK at those puppies... what a hOOt... each one a dOOuble hander.
Putting aside the profane and dwell on the sacred, I understand now your use of the crucifix, this from Wikipedia:
Montag and Pratt married a second time on April 25, 2009 in Pasadena, California. The two have three puppies, Dolly, Ninja, and Rambo. Montag has publicly self-identified as Christian.
Posted by: hOOly cross | January 29, 2010 at 09:02 AM
I suppose we should count our blessings that her parents didn't name her Veronica because I'm not sure she can count that high.
Really nicely done, 14. Funny and skewerific!
Posted by: Erik | January 28, 2010 at 11:45 PM
Oh, hell. I just sat here and chortled myself silly. No- that is a lie. I laughed loud and long. Truly she makes Paris seem mature, sophisticated, and--oddly--philanthropic? Weird. God bless you, 14, and thank you Heidi for existing.
Posted by: Kristina | January 28, 2010 at 04:07 PM
"Genuine Simulated Marble" & "Eat My Panties Off!"
"Classic!"
Posted by: The Mave | January 28, 2010 at 01:13 PM
Never in this deluded woman's life, will she ever even come close to being one-eighth as appealing as this great artistic rendering you've done of her BIG-FAKE-LADYLUMPS!
As for that music sample included,.... "Instant GOTA Classic material!!! "Bigger than Thriller?" "Ha!","Sha-Moan!!"
That little Joan Rivers Plastic-Gnome endorsement at the top left is hilarious too!
Absolutely Hilarious!!!!
Posted by: The Mave | January 28, 2010 at 01:10 PM