The Madonna Chipmunk is a fame-seeking, scrawny little rodent that annoys most anyone who comes in contact with her. Her range of habitat is vast, worldwide and relentless. The Madonna Chipmunk is easily spotted wherever opportunies arise for her to promote herself. Really, it is difficult to avoid spotting her...unless you live in a cave.
Her predatory habits include stalking and pouncing on much younger men, especially sexy Latinos. A cunning evolutionary trait developed to satisfy the creature's desperate need for attention, she knows all cameras will be on her each time she nibbles the tender young meat of her victims. She also enjoys stuffing her cheeks full of Restylane Berries because she believes they give her a youthful appearance, but they are indeed what causes her to resemble a chipmunk.
She may be identified by her distinct chirp, a smug yapping tinged with an abrasive fake British accent that spews egotisical proclamations each time she opens her mouth. Her mortal enemy is Elton John and both are often spotted viciously chirping at each other in the public arena. If you're looking to deter the Madonna Chipmunk from entering your garden, simply plant a smattering of hydrangeas on your property (she absolutely loathes them), play certain Lady Gaga songs over a loudspeaker, or leave a copy of the Daily Mail laying around. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint)
