Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as Booty And The Beast

A delightful storybook romance staring Kim Kardashian as Booty, Kanye West as The Ego Beast, Bruce Jenner as Taut Teacup, Kris Jenner as Leaky Teapot, Khloe Kardashian as The Khlock, and tragic Kris Humphries as Old Flame:

"When Booty’s magical 72-day marriage tragically dissolves, her mother warns that she must find a famous suitor to keep her name in the tabloids, lest she fade from public memory like her old friend Paris Hilton. 

“Think of the family,” her mother implores.  “Mama’s Bentley is not going to pay for itself.”

Despite her uncertainty about the exact meaning of “suitor,” Booty bravely scrolls through the contacts on her phone to see if there is somebody…anybody…in the Greater Los Angeles and New York areas she has not yet dated – all in the name of keeping the Kardashian Kollection alive at Sears for another day. 

Suddenly, Booty stops on a name and gasps. 

“No.  Not him.  I couldn’t…”

But it is too late.  When Booty’s mother sees The Beast’s unsmiling face appear on the screen, she insists on making the union happen.

“To Nobu, it is!  I will alert TMZ.”

At first Booty is apprehensive about a boyfriend who doesn’t play a professional sport, and whose “greatest pain in life” is that he “will never be able to see himself perform live,” but soon the paparazzi’s tremendous interest in them puts her at ease.

One of the most ego-filled romances of all time, Booty and the Beast appeals to a horrifically large number of people who have made Ryan Seacrest an even richer man."

A preview of some of the pages included in the Booty and The Beast fairy tale: 

His face stretched beyond recognition, Bruce Jenner is Taut Teacup.

Kris Jenner will do anything for money. If she's not allegedly selling Booty's sex tape to porn sites, she's yammering on and on about her incontinence problem, plus other TMI subjects we don't want to hear about.

Khloe Kardashian is The Clock that ticks louder and louder with each passing day.

Once a dim flame who lit Booty's fire in make-believe land, Kris Humphries' blaze was quickly stomped out by a whiny herd of stilleto-wearing Kardashians. Medium: ink and digital color. Character design and illustration by 14, concept, rhymes and story written by Candy Kirby of The Laughing Stork.

Comments

[Fanny Pack]

YOU are scrum-tastic! Fab-rific! Stu-pend-able! I am truly in awe. Aw.

[Jenn F.]

Okay I didn't think much could be funnier than the original B&B image, but that rendering of Kris Humphries with his mouth hanging open like that is REALLY funny.

[that is funny]

How about Snooty and the Yeast?

[Virginia]

This is effing brilliant: everything is on point. LOVE your work!!!

XOVirginia

[Dee Cee]

Excellent.. It's them precisely... really how can you do this great depiction of the odd balls and weirdo's caught in their natural state.. time and time again? Genius..

[bond arbitrage]

HI Xoxo 14, you got a very nice gallery here. How do you come up something so artistic? I wanna paint and color like yours!

[14]

Thanks guys!

Hi Mandy, I scan my drawings/sketches in Photoshop CS4 and then use several layers and opacities to color 'em in. I also recently graduated from using a pen tablet to now using a Cintiq (talk about FUN!).

xoxo 14

[Mandy]

Love this! Do you mind if I ask what kind of program you use for digital color? It looks so fun! I wanna color too :)

[NFL Jerseys sale]

I hope you continue to work hard.Refueling.

[Indie]

...And just like that, 14's back! I've been a lurker on your site forever- since 2005/6. Every single piece of satire since then, I've admired. You don't just lampoon, you have a singular talent of highlighting star foibles and character flaws with the stroke of your brush (Paris Hilton's lazy eye and crab for example).

Don't think I'll comment again, but I want to let you know- I am sure there are many like me who admire your work quietly...so please, I'd love it, if you posted at Gallery of the Absurd more frequently again!

The Brangelina Aniston triangle, the Lohan Debacle, Lady Gaga, John Mayer/ Katy Perry, Rihanna-Chris Brown, Will Smith, John Travolta, Mary Kate and the French Boyfriend- the list could go on, are all crying for your deft hand to portray their current absurdities.

Regardless of whether you post or not; I visit every week.

Thank you for the entertainment.

Indie

[Chansmom]

I have to wonder about that family, aside from their late father, what, exactly, are they famous for?

Love your work, 14!!!!!!

[Vern]

This tail is so beautiful I can't help but shed a tear, for that poor Beast who can't see his own performance, and, maybe, for that poor squirrel.

[Sharon LaBey]

Hey 14! The art is amazing, as always, and Candy's text is the perfect blend of sardonicism and truth. Keep up the hilarious work, you two!

[Vickskills]

I have been reading this blog for years and it has never ever failed to amuse me. 14, you are the brightest light in our dim world, if you ever stop blogging I am pretty sure I'll cry.

[14]

Thanks Tess and El Bastardo!!
xox
14

[ElB]

Damn! Supoib as usual!

[Tess Danesi]

This was awesome. I will never remove you from my reader just in case, like today, another pseudo-celeb compels you to paint her. What a perfectly fractured fairy tale this is. Thanks so much for the laughter.

[14]

Awww, thanks hon! I'm not going away, just expanding into all sorts of different artistic interests. Thanks for reading my blog!

xox
14

[rlh]

Lord, I love your work. You should be running the world.
Never go away, please.